My everything...

Our court hearing is next Wednesday! I have been recieving great messages and lots of good vibes. I hope it all means something. I see that some people travel quickly after a court hearing and then I see in one blog that it has been 15 weeks since their hearing and they still do not have a first ruling. I am trying to be protect my heart. Live in the moment...Tomorrow is ONLY a day away! It is easy this time around being patient. Easier than I ever thought it would be. I have Shasha to just go crazy over! She is my whole life. My light. She just makes me see the world... and the adoption world in a whole new way. She is just 3 years and 5 months old and teaches me new wonderful things every single day. She makes me want to live each and every single day in the moment and be grateful for what I have instead of wishing that I had more. It will all come soon enough. Shasha spent the 1st 8 and 1/2 months of her life in an orphanage in a metal crib with boards for a bottom. No blankets. No pillows. She has the very flat back of her head to show for it. She deserves every single free moment, free thought that I have to offer her right now. As excited as she is about getting her new brother... as excited as we are about getting our little dumpling... I am afraid that sharing her time, our love, and her things with a new sibling is going to be rough on her. She is a Momma's girl through and through. I am afraid to admit this but I sleep with her in her bed, in her room. Some tell me how wrong I am but I look at it differently. One day she will be a typical middle school girl, the ones I see every single day, telling me to get out of her room and that I embarrass her at the mall. She wants me with her right now, and I will be right there with her until she tells me otherwise. And even then I will stay close. This little girl from Yang Xi, China made me the person that I have always wanted to be. She made me the Momma I always dreamed of being. She made me want another child to love. I owe her everything. Most say that she is so lucky, a lucky girl... but I know that I am the lucky one. She is my everything. And everything plus 1 can only make life better... it will come soon enough when a judge in Tawian says so...but right now I am not wishing my everything away. She... our time together... is too precious.