A name change...

I am not sure if I am happy or sad about the current name change situation. Shasha has always called me Momma. I say "always" like she is 50 years old or something... she will be three in November! But there is a transition happening! She now calls me Mommy. Not that that is bad. Afterall, my Mom was Mommy for a long time before she beacme Moo... but I am kinda attached to Momma and it is hard to let go! I still seem to be known as Momma when she really needs something... She will yell..."MOMMA, DoDo is twying to eat me pwetzels!!!!!"
She tends to use Mommy in a love me tender kind of way.... "Mommy, I love you."
At first I was correcting her. Then, I started questioning her why the name change. I guess all that is left is me accepting my new name. Momma has a new identity. I have become Mommy.

Momma, Take My Picture!

Shasha loves cameras! I love to take pictures... we are a perfect match! But you already knew that much! Shasha loves to be dressed up. And last weekend she wore the most beautiful little yellow dress. After Sunday School Shasha said to me, "Momma, Take my picture."
That's all it takes. We went outside and did our version of a photo shoot. 189... yup, 189 pictures later... I had some of the most beautiful photos of our little China angel that have ever been taken! We took some pictures while Shasha was spinning, jumping, posing in front of the purple flowers, sitting on a bench, rocking in her little wicker chair... and a few of the two of us just loving eachother. Do I say it enough? She just makes me smile :o) Here's a look at her beautiful smile...

This week in Pictures!!!

Shasha's first day of Sunday School

Shasha went to Sunday School today for the first time. We belong to a small country church. Shasha was the youngest of just 5 in her Sunday School class. Sje already told us that she liked it and will go back again next week. She is nearly 3 and this is the first time that she has been without us... or Grammy and Dappy... or Nancy and PopPop. It was just one hour long but we were a bit worried that she might freak out when she saw that we were not with her. Really I think it was Daddy and I that were freaking out at the thought of letting her go. We all survived. Sunday School did wear Shasha out though...

Shasha's musical talents

Shasha has definitely had a little happy tune going through her head lately! She started singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow... well , it's her own version. It cracks me up. She sings... "Somewhere over the rainbow blu birds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow... and sometimes they not". And just as fast as her song started... it ends. It is just so cute. I tried to tell her that there were other words to the song but she told me that is in MY song not HERS!

Besides singing she has been playing her instruments lately. And she makes all of us... Dadda, Momma, Grammy and Dappy play an instrument and sing along. Let me just say that we won't be hired anytime soon! Shasha stands on top of her little stool and uses a drumstick as a baton and directs "her band". Hmmm... I am thinking that maybe she will have a musical future.

Daddy and I also got some new musical instruments. Rock Band. I am very bad at playing the drums! Very bad... and I hold the drumsticks too tight and now I have blisters on my fingers. Did I mention I was bad? Daddy likes to play the guitar. But he can only play the guitar if I am NOT playing because I am so bad at playing the drums we always get boo'd off the stage. I am pretty good at playing the guitar ... but let's keep in mind that I am still playing the EASY setting.

Feeling Down...

This week seemed to linger on and on and on. I have been on edge all week long. Our new Taiwan agency promised us that they would "overcommunicate". Well they haven't been doing such a hot job communicating let alone "overcommunicating". I have emailed every agency email address I have found and still no response. Sure, we get the emails that are going out to everyone saying "there will be a conference call on..." but all of our questions have gone unanswered and seemingly ignored. We seem to be stuck in an agency limbo. Our homestudy was completed in late July and was sent to our old Taiwan agency for approval when... boop... we closed. And we were in the middle of our adoption education program (because we forgot how to feel obviously about adopting since we adopted Shasha 2 years ago or is it because they can charge us lots of money to complete this?) when after hours and hours of reading about how we should feel about adopting and a "professional" telling us what we should feel while we are adopting ...boop... we closed!!! Somehow life doesn't seem fair. And it is when I am bouncing all of these questions around in my head when i just sit down, let the tears drip down my cheeks and ask, why??? It is times like these that I am so very greatful to have my sweet angel, Shasha. She makes me smile. She makes me proud. She makes me so happy when I am feeling that my world is being pulled from beneath me just a little bit at a time.
Tomorrow is my best friend's birthday and I just miss her so much. I never thought that my heart would... or could...hurt like this so many years after she left me. But it just does. It just hurts. Bad. And I don't think anyone even knows how much. When I met Jen... my life changed... it was filled with sunshine and promise. I finally realized the true meaning of the word friendship. Life was a song... a joyous little tune that I didn't mind humming every minute of every day. When I lost Jen... my life changed... it slowly fell apart. I never felt so alone. How cruel can life get? Somedays I can wake up singing that happy little tune...and somedays...no matter how hard I try... well, I just can't.

Our Girls...

Cindi's diagnosis...On Friday morning Cindi Lou seemed to be better. She still had a slight limp but was now walking on her front leg. So, her vet appointment was cancelled. By 3:30, when I came home from school, she was hobbling around once again... but now it was her back leg! She cried this morning when I picked her up to carry her outside. When Scoog came home from work he immediately carried her out to the truck and off to the vet. As it turns out Cindi Lou has Lyme Disease. The telltale sign was that she was so lethargic. Cindi, who is our 10 year old puppy, is usually bouncing off walls and running around like a little nut dog! So for her to just stare at you blankly from the corner of the room and not move ALL day was just not normal. Last Saturday she was fine. Last Sunday she seemed to limp a bit and by Tuesday she wasn't walking. That is how fast it hit her. After an IV today and her first dose of antibiotics she already seems to have a little spark back in her. I opened a bag of cheese cubes tonight... and she came trotting into the kitchen. So, only 44 and 1/2 more days of antibiotics.




















Shasha loves "school". OK, so for her school means learning a letter or number from her Disney "school" books. And let's not forget about having a color of the day. Yesterday the color of the day was purple and today she told me that it is purple again "because me like it, Momma." She is starting to learn how to write her name, too. Sure, it takes her 30 minutes to write a 5 letters... but it is a start! It is hard to believe that 1 year ago she wasn't even talking! My little girl is growing up so fast!